There's a 40 - 60% chance my coffee table is trying to kill me.

Yesterday, it was the worst toe-stub of my life (blister still at the tip of my tiny toe).

Today, my shin!

Has someone moved it?

How am I suddenly running into it three times a day?

The obvious conclusion is that it's an assassinating coffee-table.

I can sense it planning its next attack and, frankly, I'm a little nervous.