I've really enjoyed blogging in these past few months and am feeling proud of myself that I've started to actually tell people about it. Since deciding to officially unleash my thoughts on the world, I've found myself peeking around the blostpot site, looking for camradarie with fellow smart-asses. There are a lot of talented writers out there, both funny and serious, and it's been a great reading adventure. Of the maybe 50, or so (hey, I have a lot of time to fill) blogs I went to, there were a couple that really struck a cord with me.
First, a Simple Dude Living in a Complex World, who's storytelling ability is fantastic, and the content - hilarious. His is a type of blog that I'd originally been looking for, as we seem to view the world from a similar perspective.
Second though, and the inspiration for this post, is a blog that's incredibly honest and written by a Jewels, who's soon Turning 30. She writes about her life, and the introspective thoughts that fill up your mind, when you're rapidly approaching a "bigger" birthday.
A posting she wrote, a couple of days ago, described the reasons men gave her on why they cheated on their partners. From her very intimate personal history, she said that the number one reason she heard was, "Because I can."
As simple and selfish as that reason is, I believe that she's right. Marc and I often have conversations regarding cheating, which was originally brought up after he'd attended a bachelor party a couple of years ago. There were a dozen or so guys, mostly married or in long-term committed relationships, that were all up for a bachelor-party-weekend. I had some friends staying with us, so we all said goodbye to Marc and wished him a good night...and were then flabbergasted, when he returned, less than two hours later. Here's what had happened.
These seemingly committed guys had spent the majority of the afternoon trying to pick up very young girls, with the groom-to-be actually making out with one, in PUBLIC!? They'd all been drinking, so by the time he'd showed up for dinner, they were totally plastered (so you can imagine how their behaviour digressed) and were embarrassingly trying to pick up any girl who'd take a second look at them. Of the 12, there was only ONE other husband who was visibly uncomfortable (but stuck with the lot for the weekend and therefore, was forced to stay and "participate") aside from Marc. Not every guy was trying to get some ass, but nobody was saying anything to the married/attached guys who were. Marc left to come home soon after 10pm and told our wine-drenched guests the story that has now been dubbed "Adulterer's Weekend."
Would their wives/girlfriends find out? Probably not.
Were they thinking of the fallout if their wives/girlfriends/children, did find out? Probably not.
None of us, sitting in our living room, could figure out how the focus of a party that was happening because of an upcoming marriage would be so focused on cheating.
I think that Jewels has answered the question though and the answer is: Because they could.
Well, this post is reaching epic-length, so I'm gonna wrap it up now (obviously intended pun).
Why be in a relationship that clearly is lacking, in some capacity? If you want to "do" someone who isn't your partner, then your relationship is probably not awesome. Relationships are work. Period. And if you're sitting in a chair, bitching and moaning about how shitty your partner is, then make the adult decision and cut the cord. Yeah, yeah, relationships are complicated and it's never that simple, blah blah blah, but seriously, shutthefrontdoor and be done with it. It's immature and produces a lot of unnecessary hurt and anguish, as the cheated-upon often chastise themselves for doing something wrong, which is the unfairest thing of all.
ps. As an aside, obviously Marc was seriously rewarded for his stand-up job (do I really need to say it here?) in escaping from the infidelity-fest.