6.9.10

Costco Sweep

For those who are Canadian, or get the Game TV channel, you probably remember a little show called "Supermarket Sweep." This is early 90's Canadian programming at its best as it's filled with wonders of fanny packs, acid washed and high waisted jeans, mullet(te)s, perms, enormous glasses and a host with no charisma.

Here's the breakdown if you're unfamiliar with this diamond in the rough. There's 3 teams of 2 contestants each. The setting is a grocery store. It starts with a Jepoardy/Wheel of Fortune-esque question round where contestants guess the particular product that solves the puzzle, but are given the amount of letters required (___ ___ ___). There are a couple of bonus rounds where a frantic partner is thrust into the grocery store to find said product, and the camera somehow always shoots from directly behind whoever's running (which makes for seriously unflattering shots, like the outfits weren't bad enough already). Then, there's an insane 60 seconds where the contestants are whipping around the store, trying to collect the most expensive grocery cart's worth of food. It's unintentionally hilarious and heartwarming, which is why it needs to make a comeback!
I'm not sure why the game show ended, but I (humbly) suggest that Costo sponser the bejesis out of the remake because nothing would be funnier than a couple of crazy dressed-to-the-nines Yummy Mummies frantically pushing a gigantic cart around a humungous store where they'd be able to throw in big ticket items.

Picture this:
It's finally the end round and the score is so close that they might as well be even. There are three teams who are chomping at the bit for the grand prize trip to Fiji (side note: the original had the worst prizes ever, so Costo'd have to kick that up a bit) and are almost growling with anticipation of their upcoming sprints.
BAM!
The time starts and three high-heeled 30-45 aged, perfectly coiffed women take off! They split, with each one heading for a different department. The blonde iced-out one is grabbing tires and other auto equipment/supplies off of the high shelves with an ease that demonstrates her dedication to her personal trainer. The younger looking brunette, sporting black skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder draped sweater is in the Pharmacy section, trying to find the bonus item that is clearly in front of her face but snatches everything else that's directly around it. Finally, the older looking brunette with a sharp bob and a cute teal a-line dress decides that she's having none of the pesky small crap and heads for the appliance department, clear at the other end of the store.
The audience would be filled with screams and shouts of "she won't have time!" "Why would she go to the end of the store?"
Her partner would be losing his shit, pulling out his hair and watching her lack of progress on the large-screen TVs that surround the set.
Then, we'd see the impeccably-dressed-bobbed-brunette climb behind a refrigerator, wedge herself between it and the back of the display, and shift it forward with her very-toned legs, onto the edge of the display.
Only 30 seconds left! There's not enough time! WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?
She hears countdown from the audience and knows that time is running out. With a superhero strength, she tips over the fridge into her cart, throws her shoes in as well, and starts sprinting for the finish. Just as the buzzer signals that time is up, we see the sweaty and disheveled contestants that were, clean and shiny moments before, get patted on the back by their still-wrinkle-free partners. The cashiers start ringing everything up during the commercial break and it turns out the winner is...

Who cares!! This show would rule!!

Woot Woot! Come on, Costco Sweep (although the name would have to change because it sucks like that...whatever, I can't think of everything, now can I)!

ps. Yay for Mingle Mondays!! Thanks for stopping by!

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