You are giving Mommy an ulcer.
Why do you insist on running off into the forest? You are a city/suburb kinda puppy, which means you're no match for the foxes, large birds and other predatory animals that would eat your cute black and tan tiny terrier face. When we moved out here, we told you all about the wonders of nature, and I know that you're into the whole scene now, but you have got to quit taking off! It makes Mommy very frustrated and angry when you make her chase after you because she gets attacked by spiky branches and icky cobwebs (and it sometimes rips her favourite shirts that were one-of-a-kind and therefore irreplaceable). It also makes Mommy look like a crazy (yet well-dressed) stalker, as our forest backs onto other people's backyards and they can see her, clawing and tripping her way onto their property, in search of you. Your father suspects that you are a ringleader in a Little Rascals-like dog crew and that you hold your meetings in a secret forest clubhouse, but if that's the case, just let me know before you go and I won't get so worried (I kid, I kid, you can't talk...yet).
We did the responsible parent thing and installed an electric fence, but you've figured out that if you run really fast, you can get through it. How did you get so smart? You're a 5 lb dog, which means that your brain is teeny, but all of your neurons must be firing because you manage to conjure up escape plans and intricate ways to get toys away from Pepi. Sometimes, I think, "There's no way he can actually be that smart." But then you do something super manipulative that leaves me wondering.
At the risk of sounding like a clearly-favouring parent; why can't you be more like your brother? Pepi's content to snuggle next to me, lick my face, and stay out of the forest.
Also, it'd be nice if you could ease up on your obsession with the green ball because you turn into a total sketch-fest (with the shaking, the whining, the whimpering) and it's getting a little out of control.
For reals, though. The next time you run into that forest, I'm seriously going to lose my mind and will take away every last toy you have.
I'll do it!
(OK, maybe not, but something else bad'll happen...maybe...oh the tribulations of having a freakishly cute puppy whose brown eyes always get him out of the doghouse, literally).