Dear Scary Movie Trailers:

Please get out of my life.

From the months of September and October, I live in fear of the terrifying trailers that leave me frantically searching for the remote, or force me to act like a 3-year old (closing my eyes and covering my ears) if I can't find a way to change the channel.

Plot lines about killers; fine.
Kidnapping; sure.
Uber-creepy, pale skinned children who are possessed by evil entities, like that 'Orphan' girl; no thanks!

The most annoying part is that you come on during my funny shows, or in the middle of the day. I have an incredibly overactive imagination which gets me into trouble sometimes and even if I see a terrifying movie-concept in the middle of the afternoon (or, walking past the cover in a movie rental place - yes, it really is that bad and has resulted in me waking Marc up in the middle of the night because I'm convinced that Dr. Giggles is hiding in our basement) the images instantaneously burn into my memory and then I'm stuck living the super-scary story as soon as my eyes close.

So, quit it! Especially 'The Devil' movie - elevators are already terrifying enough (getting stuck in such a small space with no hope of escape is a total nightmare situation) without the addition of a Devil-stalking. Then, this morning, at SEVEN AM, I caught a new trailer about another little girl who's being stalked by demons. Perfect.

I love Halloween (costumes are the.best.idea.ever) but hate that such a high dose of psychological terror has to be injected into my daily life in the weeks leading up to the big night. I understand that it's only going to get worse, the closer we get to the end of October, but please, if you don't mind, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know before one of you are going to play. Maybe with a disclaimer warning, or the screen could flash bright pink or something. Whatever - you guys are the media geniuses; you can work something out where I have time to hit 'mute' or change the channel. Pretty, pretty please?

Oh man, 45 days to go.

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