10.9.10

Julie....*sigh

There are those who respond to positive feedback and others who need constructive criticism to keep them in check. My apologies, Ms. Chen, for I mistakingly believed that (after a little bit of CC) you belonged in the first category. The last two BB eviction nights though, you've snapped back into your hot mess ways, so clearly, I need to break it down for you again.

A purple sack dress with a horrific-ly high empire waist (or not low enough babydoll cut) and some random circular swish on the side is bad. Black and diamond bracelets (on one arm) with a multicoloured ugly charm bracelet (on the other) were bruh-tal accessory choices and I'm at least 70% sure that you were wearing clip on earrings (yikes). The patent leather nude stiletto pumps were another epic miss.

Then, last night, you looked like you were wearing some kind of reject Jr. High prom dress. I'm pretty sure that you're aware that you sit down and stand up during the program, so you need to make sure that your outfit works in both occasions. Strange camp-craft beading that's draped at the waist (where it should be fitted, obviously) is bad. Maybe if they were black beads, they wouldn't have been so bad...no wait...yeah, it still would have been bad. It's difficult to mess up a little black dress, but you made it happen. The shoes were all right, I guess, but you could do better.

There's only 1 episode left, and it's the finale, so I'm guessing that you want to really bring your "A" game. Please, please, please get whoever picked out your outfits a month ago back, asap.

Pay them whatever they want.
Succumb to every demand.
Just throw some money at it and get it done as you clearly can't dress yourself (that or immediately fire whomever replaced the talented stylist because they're essentially stealing your money).

Also, and this may upset you, so please take a deep breath.

Ready?

You're.not.white.

Now, I know that this may come as a shock to you, but the reason I know it's true is because your makeup couldn't match your natural skintone, less. When your face looks white (with rosy undertones) but your neck, arms, legs and other exposed areas appear to be tanned with yellow undertones, that means you're wearing the wrong shade! We see everything in HD programming and it's painfully obvious that you're about 5 shades off. It doesn't matter what race/ethnicity you are, embrace it! I'm fairly certain that you can find makeup out there that looks like you're not wearing any, so go and get some (HINT: it's the opposite of what you're currently using).

Then you have to blend, Chen...BLEND!

Well Julie, one more time to make it good! You can do it! I believe!

I BELIEVE!

(Would it help if I clapped? That's how Tinkerbell got it together...)

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