Ugh, Wall Street

Man, another brutal movie choice by team Happypants (we have different last names, so we came up with a wicked team name for when we need one - like now!). It was between 'Wall Street' and 'Easy A' and so we read some reviews and picked the thriller-drama. The previews promised intrigue, back-stabbing and manipulative acts that would leave us scratching our heads and saying to each other, 'I didn't see that coming at all!'


We were slightly late getting to the theatre, so the lights had already been dimmed as we tucked ourselves into a back row. Had we been even five minutes earlier, I think we may have changed our choice because, when the lights came on, we saw that we were the youngest people in the half-packed place, by about a thousand years - it was white poufs and senior ticket stubs all-around.

The movie started at a good pace and a lot happened in the first ten minutes. I was feeling happy and confident in our movie choice. We were all, 'this movie's crazy!'

And then.
At minute, 11.
It died.

When I started to get sleepy, which was about halfway through, I turned to Marc and whispered, "Has the movie started yet?"
He laughed and the cranky 'know-it-all' dude behind us wasn't impressed (BTW, this guy was talking the entire time, explaining the stock market to the lady who was sitting next to him. Awesome). 

The movie had serious potential, but it turns out that the previews showed a lot of unrelated (albeit awesome) one-liners that ended up being in l-o-n-g, boring and not engaging scenes (as I found my eyes drawn to a pair of very pretty and sparkly earrings that were catching the light off of a senior woman's ears in front of me - they were just fabulous!).

I feel the best comparison for what Wall Street was, is "Enough" with J Lo. 
- Too much back story that's not necessary. 
- Irritating dialogue that even the best actor cannot compete against (although Shia was pretty good)
- Too many changes of location that are unnecessary and confusing
- A leading lady that just cries for the whole movie and doesn't really have a role aside from being present in certain scenes (I can't remember if J Lo was a weeper in Enough...)
- A plot build up that's supposed to end in an epic and awe-inspiring way, but ends up falling flat
- OK concept (I guess) but worst.delivery.ever
- Enraging (not en-gaging, but rage-filling) endings that make.so.sense.

I'm not sure that we'll head out to the movies again soon as it's been bad movie after bad movie, and wasting $3.50 on a rental is way better than $23.00 for tickets. All we want is to be whisked away into a new and enchanting (and sometimes funny) world. Is that too much to ask? Why isn't this happening? Where have all the good flicks gone? They should change "Hollywood" to "Hollywon't" because they just can't seem to get it together. 

Here's a hint: When I'd rather watch Law & Order reruns than the newest blockbuster, there's a problem.

Thankfully, we'd PVR'd the first episode of The Office and (despite the strange opening *cringe) it was hilarious, engaging, and if Michael Scott were a real person and in my living room, I would have hugged him until his head (figuratively) popped off.

Dear Wall Street 2: You owe me $23 and two hours of my life. Oh - and some Junior Mints (you know, to make it up to me).