19.11.10

Dear Fawnia:

No offense Ms. Mondey (a combo of Monday and Money?), but your DVD's are super low-budget. By "super-low-budget" I actually mean, was there a budget? When I ordered your series on Pole Dancing, I wasn't sure what to expect. Rest assured, you've exceeded my expectations.

You start with a small disclaimer in the beginning of the first DVD about how you didn't get permission to use copyrighted music. I understand that could have made it more expensive to produce, but having no music while learning to dance seems is strange. Stranger still as you acknowledged that music was important and then left a pause so I could put some of my own on. Having music playing from a different source than the TV while focused on the TV is distracting...and confusing, but kinda funny. 

You explain the moves rather well but where the heck was this filmed? There's a pole in the middle of a gross beige carpeted room with shoes on the wall behind you. Are you for reals dancing on carpet in a weirdo-version of your living room? Is it a store? What's going on?! Also - what kind of camera did you use to film? The picture is bruh-tal compared to others. The back of the DVD says it was filmed in 2005 -- more 1992! Even with the small tank top and hotpants, you look dated. The carpet really drives the early 90's-feel home.  

The dubbing of instruction over the demonstration also left a lot to be desired. I could hear the mic clicking in and out. 

Oh Man, Fawnia. Having the moves demonstrated and (slightly) explained has brought a lot of my former-class memories back, so that's good. However, for those who are starting out, I can't help but think that they'd feel a little seedy. 

Admit it. You set up a tripod in your basement, threw some of your costumes on a shelf behind you, edited it on your PC with freeware and then burnt copies for sale. Just how close am I?

Also, I was unaware that Canada had exotic-dancing competitions. Being Canada's premiere "award-winning exotic dancer" is a pretty big deal (isn't it?) and therefore, you should probably make sure that Amazon includes your credentials. People just loooooove credentials. The follow-up questions I have here are fairly endless...(a) Where are these competitions taking place? (b) Who's judging them? (c) What do you win? (d) Do you get letters you get to put after your name like other credentials? 

I've worked through the beginner sections and half of the intermediate. I'm quite looking forward to the "Dance Moves" DVD, but mostly to see how you're going to teach dance steps with no music. My fingers are crossed for a hilarious workout. 

BTW, your advanced DVD moves include fire.  Fire?!

Marc's terrified. I'll be giving our local fire department a head's up before that one. 

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