26.11.10

Dear Idiots:

Just where, exactly, do you think you live? The temperature's been dropping consistently these past few weeks, which is exactly the time to change from your all-season's to your winter's. There are few places where snow doesn't fall in Canada (during the winter), so are you from the south of France or something? Where are you winter tires people?!?

Idiot #1 in a red pickup truck: I grew tired of watching you fishtail and opted to pull off the road to fill up with gas. Lo and behold, 10 minutes later, you skidded in front of me for the second time, almost swerving directly into the opposite ditch. Going a cool 25km under the speed limit, you then decided to venture off to the highway. After maxing out at 70km per hour on the 110km limit highway, you made it impossible for me to pass you because you decided to drive directly in the middle of both lanes. Then, you took so long to turn onto the next street that cars started honking. HONKING!!

Side Story: On the East Side, people are so polite that they'll stop in the middle of the street so pedestrians can cross. They'll let others in from other lanes by virtually stopping before waving them in. Honking because someone's not turning is demonstrative of just how long we were waiting. 

Idiot #2 (or Idiot-ette): I wasn't exactly surprised to see you get into a fender bender as you turned left on an advanced signal, because I could see that you were texting. Here's a tip -- texting + no winter tires = expensive and potentially deadly accident. Get off of the friggin' phone, pay attention and put the winter's on! Call your parents if you don't have enough money girl cause if you hit me, I will totally lose it on you (and trust me, nobody wants that).

Idiots #3 - 7: If you had your winter tires on, you wouldn't have had to abandon your car on the side of the road or ditch. 

Perhaps you're confused because they're "winter" tires and it's not "winter" until December 21st. If they were called "fall and winter" tires, would that be better? It sounds ridiculous, but I'm willing to sign off on the adjustment if it means that you'll purchase them and put them on the first time it gets below 7 degrees, which has been the case for quite some time. Because there seem to be more of you than those who are not-idiots, I'm wary of going anywhere because there's a good chance that one of you will crash into me. Please note that you've been warned about that outcome already (*insert disapproving glare -- can't shake my fist because both hands should be on the wheel while driving in such weather). 

Get it together; nobody likes an idiot. 

1 comment:

k-money said...

It's so annoying when people refuse to acknowledge that IT'S WINTER. I can't get over all the teeny-boppers who walk around in t-shirts and/or flimsy sweaters. Getting frost-bite does not make you look cool!!!