Holey Poley!

Since the summer, I've been working on my fitness. It's been a slow process, but six months later have managed to drop some pounds and keep them off. I remember what it was like to be able to run around without passing out and although I'm not even close to that yet, it's nice fitting into my skinn-ay clothes. It's been challenging to find things I can do to stay somewhat in shape while I wait out my medical bru-ha-ha. Especially since I have to work-out solo (a gym's filled with too many people's sweaty germs -- it's a death trap for me). 

Kijiji's been my best friend in collecting various pieces of equipment and a side of the basement has been gradually filling up with a couple of different boxing bags, a pretty good elliptical machine, some free weights and a T-zone. For those who don't know, a T-zone is that astronauts use to work out in space -- for reals! It's a moving platform that you stand on while doing traditional exercises. In 10 minutes, you've worked out for almost an hour!! I used to pay a membership fee to a place downtown, but they went out of business and got locked out. Their landlord had a fire-sale and I snapped up a (usually seriously expensive) machine. I was a total skeptic but my arms have never been buff-er. 

Despite the coming-together-nicely gym, it's still hella boring down there....until now! 

Back in the day when I lived in Toronto, I took a series of pole-dancing classes. They were the most fun EVER and I've been talking about getting my own pole since. Marc's side business has been doing rather well lately and he ordered me one last week (whatta guy)! On Wednesday, my awesome stainless steel removable pole arrived in the mail. 


We moved our gigantic framed mirror (left from previous owners from the condo -- the greatest leave-behind score of all time) downstairs and centered the pole in front of it. I'm seriously rusty but played around with the moves that I remembered. I sweated up a storm and had the time of my life. This morning though, I can barely move.

For reals.

My arms can't go up past my shoulders. Pickle-the-five-pound-Yorkie feels like he weighs 50. Getting down the stairs was a challenge. My left calf muscle keeps spontaneously cramping. Marc's concerned that people are going to think he's throwing things at me because my knees, shins, thighs and arms are smattered with bruises. Granted, my meds make me bruise like a peach, but I can't believe how many there are after one day! 

Funny as it sounds, I think I've managed to find the one form of exercise that's better to do solo than in a group. Without risking embarrassment, I can fall, flail and give myself some serious face while shaking my proverbial tail-feather. My music preferences are all over the place, so making my own soundtrack is awesome (and I can sing along). I ordered some instructional DVD's and am looking forward to my future buff-ness-by-fun-ness. For those of you who are looking for a super-fun way to stay fit, I highly recommend finding a fitness studio avec les poles. You'll never look back (and the side benefits of learning different hip movements speak for themselves). 

I was looking forward to getting some spins in this morning, but can barely write this post.  Deep stretching may be more realistic. 

No wonder exotic dancers are so skinny.

I need to buy some epson salts. 


  1. Please tell me that you dance to the most ridiculous songs while on the pole! Kudos to you for having one -- I would have no clue what do to if I had one. I'm pretty sure a pole dancing class would kick me out for being too awkward.

  2. Oh yeah! It's the most random collection of music ever. Soon I'll be adding some Chipmunk Christmas...you heard me. It's gonna be epic (or a sign that I've completely lost it...tomato, tomah-to)! Bahaha!


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