14.3.11

Sexting Server


Marc and I decided that Saturday would be date "night."

Side Story: I use the word "night" haphazardly because we avoid large crowds and their germs and, therefore, have our dates during off-times. In this case we were having an early supper...at 3:00 in the afternoon. Date "afternoon" sounds stupid though, so we leave it as "night."

So it's the middle of the afternoon and we're basically by ourselves in the restaurant. It's nice because it means that our food comes quickly and we get lots of refills without asking...you know...cause we're basically the only table in the joint. Unfortunately for our server though, her frequent stops by our table resulted in Marc making only brief eye contact and offering mumbled answers to her questions, while I focused on on controlling my laughter. She must have thought we were on the Worst Date Ever (in fact, she brought up separate cheques).

Why, you ask?

Well, there's a new guy where Marc works and this week, he was passing around his phone during break time. On his phone was a picture of his new girlfriend...a blonde in a somewhat racy piece of pink lingerie. 

If you haven't made the connection already, let me be clear.


OUR SERVER WAS THE GIRLFRIEND!


The second she took our drink order, Marc leaned across the table towards me and told me the story. I thought I was going to DIE of laughter (like, literally, I was taking a sip of my drink and nearly choked). After a moment of reflection, I looked around and saw that she was the only blonde server. Marc has a tendency of thinking that people resemble others, but often is way off. Not having another blonde server to compare OUR server to, I asked Marc to rank his certainty that the blonde lingerie model was our server. He said he was 75 - 80% sure, but then added that the new guy at work had said that she worked at this particular restaurant and he hadn't remembered until he saw her.

When she arrived with our drinks, he upped his certainty percentage to 85%. 

Each time she'd come over, I'd look at her face and think, "Your boyfriend is passing around half-nekked pictures of you to anyone who wants a look and you have NO IDEA." When she wandered away, I had to consciously control the volume of my giggle. Not that it was particularly funny (in a "ha ha" way) but mostly because it was a crazy coincidence.

Lesson Learned?: LADIES!! DON'T DO IT!! Guys are kinda stupid when it comes to these things and although the new guy was only trying to "show off" how "hot" his girlfriend was, at least EIGHT other STRANGERS have now seen her in lingerie. If this is what he does when he's "proud," what is he going to show people when they break up? (let's be honest, this relationship is doomed)

Obviously when the cheque arrived, Marc gave her a huge tip. It was only fair, after all. 



*Side Note: I don't blame Marc for looking, I mean, who DOESN'T go at the adult section of Perez when there's a hint of racy pictures? His reaction to seeing her IN PERSON confirmed that I have nothing to worry about (shifty eye contact with her, stuttered responses and overall mortification)*


1 comment:

k-money said...

I love this story so much...but poor girl! What are the odds of him ever running into her?

I'm sure if she knew this is actually happening, that she would never want to show her face again. So maybe it's good that she's in the dark.