14.5.11

Secret Lovers

*Mum, I know that you read my blog but you MAY want to skip over this one... You've been warned*

First off, BOO BLOGGER!! We're fighting because I have to rewrite this post after your meltdown. 

Moving on...

It's been a while since I've bared my soul and a few nights ago, I realized that I may have a closet attraction to something. Let me break it down for you.

Most of the hetero women I know have sexytime dreams starring devilishly good-looking men who are often actors, singers or other celebrities: washboard abs, touseled hair and buldging biceps galore. 

I, however, have put together an extremely unattractive group of sexy-dream-time players. Sure, Joshua Jackson used to make a guest appearance from time to time, but the replacement of hottie mc-totties with not-so-much-ies first started a few years ago and Mr. Jackson hasn't been seen since. 

The first anti-sexy-dream-time player came in the form of James Woods. I kid you not.


My friends all laughed when I told them I'd gotten to know Mr. Woods on a very personal level and I joined them joyfully...until he became the ONLY dude to make an appearance during my REM cycle. 

Just when I thought it couldn't get much worse, THIS GUY came around.




His name is Brad Lamb and he's a Toronto realtor who specializes in lofts and condos. He also has a reality show. This is one of his ads that were plastered around Toronto when I lived there...you know, cause of his last name. Luckily, my subconscious drew a line at bestiality as he was in human form (whew). That being said, Mr. Lamb comes across as kind of a douche plus he's bald. 

Again, I told some friends of my latest anti-sexy-dream-time addition and they laughed. This time, my own wasn't quite as genuine. I wondered, why is this happening? My hubby, in real life, is SERIOUSLY good-looking and super awesome, so why on Earth did I dream of ugly a-holes?

Then, this week, another dude came onto the scene.


May I introduce, Harlan Coben. He's an author who I love (and consequently own every one of his books). He's smart and funny, from his Twitters anyway, so I wouldn't necessarily say that he's a step down from Brad Lamb but he's also BALD!

Do I have a secretly crave the feel of a smooth and polished scalp beneath my fingertips?

Should Marc, my hubby, shave his?

Will all future anti-sexy-dream-time players also be bald?

Who's next?





Will Mark Wahlberg ever stop by?



So there you have it; my most recent predicament. There's probably only one conclusion...

My name is Jennie and I'm a Bald-A-Holic.

*googles BA meetings*





2 comments:

Heather said...

Lol! I love this.

I'm a new follower and I found you through A Steady Stream of Chatter.

andrea n. townsend said...

I have that picture of Marky Mark framed in my room. I AM NOT JOKING. Swoooooooooooooooooon.