So if being ATTACKED (somewhat) by BEARS wasn't enough, I just went outside for my morning tea...
cranked the umbrella open...
It was (and still is) bundled up in between a few folds of fabric.
"Ohmygawd Ohmygawd Ohmygawd Ohmygawd" - was my reaction, along with almost smoking myself in the face with the screen door (we just put them back on and they take a little getting used to).
Safely inside, I called Marc and he said that I should just close the umbrella because it clearly got lost on it's way back to the batbox that sits further back on our property (side note: this has freaked me out since we bought this house, but since I've never seen one, I just assumed that the batbox was more for decorative purposes...guess not).
His LACK of concern didn't make me feel better, and in fact, he was happy to hear that we have bats.
He tried to convince me that bats are good because they eat bugs, but since we already HAVE a bug eater-thingy that DOESN'T send ripples of getting-stuck-in-my-hair or face-maulling fears pulsing through my veins...I wasn't having it.
Being a trooper though, I VERY GENTLY closed the umbrella back up and managed to stave off an ambush.
There's a 40 - 60% chance that we may have to move; nature just WON'T stay OUT of my GRILL.
(obviously, there's no picture because I was seriously traumatized and going BACK outside to re-shut the umbrella was torture enough *shudders*)