30.1.11

It's a De-lf!

Okay, I've mentioned previously that I believe New Brunswick is the Texas of Canada because things are BIGGER here. Most notably, the WILDLIFE. 

Well yesterday The Hubby and I decided to take a trip to The Happiest Place On Earth Costco. We haven't been to one since we moved here. It was a beautiful day so we hopped into the car and and off we went. The warehouse itself was super fun to walk around in, and watching some random dude get checked out by paramedics in the lobby also added a certain je ne sais quoi to our outing. 

One ceiling fan, a two pack of Bourskin cheese and a giant bag of Jelly Belly Beans later, we were loading the car. Yes, you heard me. DOUBLE PACK OF BOURSKIN! It was like buy one for regular price, get the other for a DOLLAR!! Then, they had packs of bake-your-own baguettes for less than $3...but there's EIGHT of them!!!

We all know what I'll be eating today....and wearing (stretchy pants)...

but THAT's not the point of THIS post. No, no. 

On the way home from shopping, while eating a giant sour key (if I'm being specific) I saw my first moose. It was ENORMOUS!! It was almost as high as the fence that runs alongside the highway (it's a moose/deer fence) and that's including the FOUR FOOT HIGH snowbank it was standing in. It was relaxed and eating something and didn't try to ram us...thank goodness. I've lived in fear of moose-attacks on the highways here because there are tonnes of FLASHING SIGNS that say The Moose are EVERYWHERE. For reals. The signs are yellow with two orange flashing lights and they give me major anxiety.

All the moose-sighting madness reminded me about the strange deer visitors we had earlier in the week. My Dad and Stepmom were the official first visitors we had who've seen deer -- it was very exciting. The closer I looked though, the bigger the deer became. Just for comparison purposes, I've included photos of the new deer we saw a couple of days ago and the deer who hang with us in the summer.

Winter Deer
Summer Deer
Talk about a winter coat! The winter deer looks like a fuzzy guy who likes to cuddle while the summer deer had huge ears. When Winter Deer looked right at me, I swear, it was like a wolf's head was somehow superimposed onto Winter Deer's body. 

SEE?!?!
Come ON!!! Look at the face!! That's totally some new kind of deer breed. It's a Delf: part deer, part wolf. An interesting mix considering wolves eat deer, but crazy things happen in the wild.

All right, so OBVIOUSLY I'm aware that such a hybrid doesn't exist, but that Winter Deer sure got me thinking. I hope they come back around, it's very peaceful to watch them wander around the property...until The Pickle realizes what's going on and starts going bezerko. That guy's five pounds of pure torque...Oh Pickle, just SHUT IT!




28.1.11

Birthday Baking

It's my Grandma's {insert significant birthday number here} birthday!!

(Like I'd "out" her like that, haha)

Well, not really TODAY, but it's on Monday. I'm fairly certain she doesn't read my blog so I can share what I made for her without risking her finding out. I've really been getting into making cookies and have shipped some for a friend's major birthday before, so I decided to do the same thing for my Grandma. She's quite the baker herself, so it's a more than appropriate gift. That and she gets really mad at me when I send her presents. I hoping that the Baked Goods Clause results in an acceptance of my gift because it's homemade. *crosses fingers*

They turned out really well but the BEST PART was my discovery of EDIBLE MARKERS!! It makes writing SO much easier. And neater. 

When I think of my Grandma, she's often wearing a shade of purple and always has some sparkle. 

Now they're all wrapped up and being shipped via Purolator for the party on Saturday!

I think it's safe to say that I have a mild obsession with royal icing. I wish there were more things happening so I can make more! Well, actually there is another birthday swiftly approaching, but the logistics of mailing cookies to Australia are considerable (sorry Gal-From-The-Land-Down-Under)...boo. 

Ah well, next time!

27.1.11

Our Bathroom is B-a-n-a-n-a-s!


Three weeks ago, The Hubby and I had a conversation that resulted in the utter destruction of our upstairs bathroom. The project turned into its own entity but was TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! My wonderful husband spent MANY nights drywalling, skimcoating, sanding, priming, painting, tiling and cleaning and then my awesome Dad stepped in to finish the final coat of paint and then re-assemble the room. It was a group project at the end, but everything's done now except for the baseboards (which we don't really care about and probably won't fix for a while). 

Here's a pictoral spread of how we went from The Blah-est Bathroom Ever to our current B-a-n-a-n-a-s Bathroom.

When we first moved in.
We put up those candle holders.

Then painted it this minty-green-mistake and added the mirror.

And installed a larger towel rack.
Then we decided to take out the wannabe wainscotting.
And the tile around the tub...oh, and the faucet too.
This is the final result.
It's so pretty that I find myself just standing in it and looking around. 
Seriously! Look at this faucet!!
So The Hubby is a giant hero as I feel like our bathroom could take part in any home magazine's "High and Low" section. Obviously, we're in the LOW category and look what we were able to do! Funny how I say "we" were able to do it when all "I" did was pick out the materials and say "higher" when arranging the pictures...anyway...

It turned out so well and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Taking baths is so much better with a spray attachment and this one hangs up like an old phone! I don't think it gets any awesome-r!

Serious props to all The Hubby's hard work and to my Dad too, for rounding out the end and putting it all together.

24.1.11

Monday's Fictional Hottie 12

I cannot believe that I've gotten all the way to #12 and this hottie has yet to make an appearance. He's got to be one of the HOTTEST characters to grace the small-screen in recent years. Part of one of the most successful TV series ever, I'm stunned that he wasn't one of my first postings. 

I was OBSESSED with him, as were a handful of friends. He's not everyone's cup of tea but for me, he's a serious hottie. Frankly, the show would have been lost without him. 

Buff arms? Check.

Smooth voice? Check.

Redemptive qualities? Check.

Ability to rock a black tank in any situation imaginable? Check.

Congratulations Sayid Jarrah, you're #12! (in no particular order).

Holy crap, he's such a hottie

Granted, he was forced into torturing his fellow citizens during the war (including one of his former girlfriends...*cringe) but as soon as he landed on The Island, he started to turn around. 

Side note: as I'm writing the description above, my eyes can't help but keep looking at Sayid's picture and it's terribly distracting. I suddenly feel the need to order 1,000 black tanks and suggest that The Hubby start wearing them (I kid, I kid). For reals though, I seem to have lost my train of thought...

Where was I...oh yes...

I was a very sad puppy when the water turned him eeeeevil but ultimately, I think it was the most fitting for his character. He's a hottie, but a tortured one and the only way that he could reclaim himself is through self-sacrifice. He was the first to go exploring, defend other camp members and bury those who died. When he spoke, other characters listened while I was mesmerized by his sexy accent.

Essentially, Sayid trapped himself in a circle of hottness because as long as he stayed on course, his attractive-level only increased.

Right, well now I've decided what I'll be doing today - watching me some LOST!!!

Happy Monday!

23.1.11

Hunger Game Survival

Ten days of make-me-crazy-but-save-my-life-medications and I'm BACK, baby! It was a longer haul than usual this time 'round the Common-Cold-Express (also known as my disease's arch nemesis when it comes to infections...crazy but true) and it looks like the worst is over. Hopefully today will be the first day that I can ween off some and then get back to my regular doses of things within a week!

Yipee!!

The last week and and a half have gone by pretty swiftly, although drug-induced hazes do seem to pass the time :). A silver lining to feeling like I'm about to jump out of my own skin (drug side-effect) though, is that I'm able to get really into books. I'd always thought that since my attention span becomes that of a flea's when I'm on an "increase," reading a book would be a seriously frustrating experience. It turned out to be quite the opposite though.

I immersed myself in a bit of Young Adult fiction last week and haven't stopped thinking about it yet. Well,  to be technical, I haven't stopped thinking about "the series" yet. 

They're called "The Hunger Games" and were written by Suzanne Collins. An acquaintance described them as "1984" meets "Lord of the Flies." That hybrid got my attention and I must say that, after reading them, the description is bang on. 

Set in one of those "in-the-future-but-it's-kind-of-like-the-past" times, the books deal with a seriously barbaric "game" called The Hunger Games. Basically, there's a dictatorship kinda deal happening with the government and all citizens must enter their children into a kill-or-be-killed competition each year. 

As far as story lines go, this one is bananas.

In fact, I read all three in about as many days. 

Ms. Collins is a bad-ass writer. Not since Harry Potter has a story stayed like this with me. I have NO IDEA how "The Hunger Games" came to be in the YA section because it's subject material could be a little bit much for the kiddies. Luckily, I'm not 12 and did not suffer from nightmares that would surely plague a younger reader. 

I cannot recommend this series enough, so if you're an avid reader who likes it when an author creates an entirely new and self-sufficient world then you'd probably devour the three-book series. Oh, and the main character is a 16-year old girl named Katniss and she's seriously awesome (love, love, love me some strong female characters!). 

So thank you, "The Hunger Games," for getting me through a booooo-ring time. I give you two crazy-thumbs up!

19.1.11

I Ain't No Little Red Riding Hood

Good Morning Bloggers!!

It's been a few days since my last post because I've been sick. Boo.

As such, I haven't been doing anything that would be even somewhat interesting to read about. SO, until I'm feeling better I'm going to re-post some of my favourites. When The Hubby and I first moved to NB, we experienced a few growing pains. Mostly had to do with nature and our not knowing how to handle the various woodland creatures that appear out of the forest. 

This post was one of our more interesting nature encounters. Enjoy! 


There have been two strange and unexplained things that have happened in the last few months regarding our garbage. Earlier in the summer, we woke up to find our substantial garbage box tipped over on its side. We had been warned not to leave garbage in an accessible place because of raccoons, so we diligently locked it up to avoid having a gross mess to clean up. There were no marks of any kind on the tipped-on-its-side box and the lock didn't look like it had been tampered with. It's really heavy, even with nothing in it, so although we didn't know what it was, we knew that whatever pushed it over wasn't a raccoons (briefly, we considered a pack of smarter-than-the-average-raccoon, but then dismissed the idea). We were freaked out by it enough to move the garbage/recycling to our shed for storage (since recycling only happens once a month here; it really piles up).

Two days ago, Marc woke up to go to work and the doors to our shed were wide open. The recycling was still sitting in its blue boxes, but the garbage bags were gone. Like disappeared. No trace of garbage anywhere.

Side Story: Just this past weekend, my bank called me because somebody cloned my card and withdrew a bunch of cash (total.bummer). The amount stolen was underneath the bank's 'serious issue' amount, so I'm guaranteed to get it back, even if they don't find the clone-r. Thank goodness.

Due to my recent experience with fraud - I lost my mind, when Marc called me later in the morning to tell me why there was a large piece of conduit shoved between the shed's door handles. There were no claw marks - no marks of any kind really, but the doors were both flapping open at 6am. I searched around our property and found no evidence of an animal and quickly became convinced that the thief had somehow gotten our address and stolen our garbage so they could steal the rest of my entire identity. Marc didn't seem too worried about it, as I ranted on and on about how I need to cancel every card that I have and start from scratch, but his calmness did little to ease my frantic-pacing-nail-biting(theoretically, I love my nails too much to actually gnaw on them) state.

When Marc came home from work, he took the dogs for a more extensive search of the property, and about half an hour later, returned with news that he'd found one of the bags. It wasn't torn to shreds, but was way back in the forest. Weird, right?

So THEN, he was asking guys from work (locals, who have much more extensive nature experience) about what could break into our shed without leaving a mark, and they said it was probably a "little Black Bear" and there "wasn't anything to worry about."

LITTLE BLACK BEAR?!?
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?!?
(clearly, these dudes don't know me. At all.)

I stood there, in our kitchen with my mouth wide open when Marc laid "the info" on me. I am not equipped to deal with this much nature. We are way out of our element here.

Bunnies. OK.
Foxes. All right.
"Little" Black Bears? No. Also - just how small is a "little" black bear? Is their Momma nearby, who's much larger and potentially angry? Is the "little" bear going to grow up to be a big bear? WILL IT KEEP COMING BACK?!? I'm no Little Red Riding Hood. Nope - not even close.

The surprising end to the potential-bear-invasion was a phone number that we could call, free of charge, which would send some dudes out with a live-trap to catch the tiny giant and re-release it....{insert stunned face, swiftly followed by hysterical laughter}

Who you gonna call? Bear Busters!!

Oh, NB. I heart you.

15.1.11

The Big Reveal

It's happened.

I can't believe it.

It's not often that I'll set a goal and actually meet it (I'm not lazy, just have a tendancey to set somewhat unrealistic goals).

As of yesterday, I successfully completed a project that I've been working on since the spring. I've alluded to it in a few posts...

And now I'm DONE!!!!

"Um, so Jennie, what the heck are you talking about?" - you're probably wondering. Well hold on to your fedoras people because...

I wrote a novel !!!!!

Can you BELIEVE IT?? Frankly, I'M having a hard time believing it. 

I know, I know, there are 50,000,000 authors out there who think that they've written the next "big thing" only to be told that they stink by agents and editors. A handful of those closest to me have been reading as I've been going and their feedback has been amazing. Granted, they love me and are therefore terribly biased, BUT I do not have friends and family who offer "unconditional support." By that, I mean that if I were tone-deaf but wanted to be the next Canadian Idol, they WOULD NOT be waiting in line with me. They love me and all, but would rather hurt my feelings privately than send me out into the world where others would destroy me, publicly. 

Through endless revisions, countless edits and a couple "this is the worst thing that's ever been written since the dawn of time" moments, I pushed through and have created a manuscript that I'm really proud of.

It's 80,000 words of awesome. 

The next step, which I'll be starting this weekend, is to "query" agents and get someone to represent me. Throughout the last six months, I've been drafting my "query" letter (basically a hook to get an agent to actually read my manuscript), making lists of agents and working on my synopsis (400 - 600 word total -plot summary). With both of them done, I'm actually ready to start submitting it.

CRAZY!!!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!

So what's your book about? Well, it's called "Random Acts du Merde," which for those who don't speak French, roughly translates to "Random Acts of Shit." As you can tell, the French makes the title a wee bit classier. 

I've read many 'a blogs that caution writers from putting their novels on-line because other authors sometimes have sticky fingers. As such, I won't be posting any snippits until I have secured representation. That being said though, I am too excited to just keep sitting on everything as all I want to do is climb onto our very steep roof and yell it for all to hear. So, I figure a nice compromise would be to share my query letter. It's the same one that I'll be sending out to agents so I think it's okay.

Here it is:

Chasing after a new life without a map or compass is like trying to make homemade Chinese food in the microwave (ridiculous and potentially lethal) but Gracie doesn’t know any other way. At 28, the sweet life that she’d stumbled into has flaked away faster than the layers of a still-warm-from-the-oven cheese croissant. 

First, Gracie calls her boyfriend-of-10-year’s bluff, and winds up single. Two weeks later, she’s bumped out of her work-from-condo career and her Hetero-Life-Partner moves across the country. Thankfully, she gets five months of severance to work it all out, which is just enough to keep her from leaping off of her 11th story balcony. 

With a little help, Gracie takes her life’s Chernoyble-esque meltdown as an opportunity for personal growth and re-evaluates her priorities (occasionally facilitated by sessions of mildly-illicit recreational drug use). Just as she gets back on track, Gracie’s world is metaphorically crushed like mint leaves at the bottom of a mojito. Freaked-out and a little too baked, she impulsively takes her first trip alone, to France. 

La Belle Payée ends up being the battleground de-luxe for Gracie. Despite her inability to read a train schedule and stand up on a surfboard, she finally connects with the strong core of independence that had been hiding all along, underneath her Soïo-and-Keyo khaki and apple-green trench. 

RANDOM ACTS DU MERDE is a witty chick lit novel that sits complete at 80k. If Miranda Hobbes, Emily Giffin and Seth Rogan formed a writing group, they could pen the sequel. Lucky for me, Ms. Hobbes is a fictional character and I’d be surprised if the other two knew each other (*whew). 

I have lived in and around downtown Toronto for the majority of my almost-30 years and spent enough solo-traveling time in France to fall in love with the countryside, its people and succulently scrumptious pastries. I am a debut author (despite a very long and tedious MA thesis) who has had her fair share of Universe-shake-ups and through which, learned that when one door closes it’s best to just grab a screwdriver, jack out the bolts and walk through anyway.

So whaddya think? Do you want to read it? (say yes, say yes, say yes)

I'll occasionally be blogging about my road to publication now, sharing the rejections and hopefully a few triumphs. 

My mantra throughout the process will be: "The Celestine Prophecy," which is the best-selling book ever (behind the Bible) was rejected SEVENTEEN times before an agent decided to represent it. (yikes)

Fingers crossed that the pro's think mine is awesome and sell-able!

Game ON!!


13.1.11

*Loud Exhale*

It's simply amazing, the age that we live in. I wrote a post in response to an article I read about the Halton District School Board being a bunch a exclusionary jack-asses. There were MANY people who were outraged by the blatant homophobia, as a Board member equated gay student groups with Nazis. 

I'm HAPPY to report that the HDSC has since recanted its position. Apparently the OLD Board voted the ban through at the end of their term(s) and have since been replaced by a NEW board that overturned the decision yesterday, 6 - 2. 

Blah, blah, blah - spin, spin, spin. Frankly, I don't quite understand their explanation (give the article a read to see if you can figure it out) but it DOESN'T MATTER because the ban has been lifted. 

Whew.

Bullying and exclusionary practices only work when their targets are isolated and silent. I love that I live in an age where technology has given marginalized groups the opportunity to not feel so isolated and break their silence. There's power in numbers, people!

Equality for all!


10.1.11

Monday's Fictional Hottie 11

This week's hottie in another old-y but a good-y. Luckily, since this hottie is mega-fictional, aging isn't much of a problem. When scandals of infidelity otherwise known as "patty cake" officially get the plot going, this hottie is smack dab in the middle of controversy. They may not be the most assertive or ass-kicking hottie out there, but after one look, it's easy to understand that's not how this hottie gets things done. If they were to go skinny Dip-ping, a riot would most likely ensue. 

Have you guessed yet?


Well congratulations Jessica Rabbit! You're #11! (in no particular order)



She's blackmailed into having an affair, wanted for murder and then kidnapped by Doom. All in all, she's fairly useless in taking care of herself and although I don't really like weak female characters there's NO denying that she's a hottie-mc-tottie. Her lack of assertiveness aside, one her more endearing qualities is being married to Roger Rabbit...a much shorter and definitely NOT hot bunny. Mrs. Rabbit would have been able to have her pick of 'toons (and people, as demonstrated in her performances) but instead chose Roger because he makes her laugh. Love it. 

Side Note: "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" was a family favourite for movie nights growing up. I longed to be able to get into Toon Town and hang out with everyone. It's amazing how great the flick is even now, with all the technological advancements that make graphics appear life-like. I love, love, love this movie and although it's based on a book I don't feel the need to read it because having everything come to life in front of my eyes is what makes the story so awesome. 

Wow, I don't think I've ever said that before. 

Movie over book?

Yikes, don't tell anyone.

9.1.11

I'm a Wiener!

No wait, I'm a WINNER!!!

My first award!! *wipes tear*

The lovely and hilarious Andrea over at A Steady Stream of Chatter strolled by yesterday and left a little message saying that I won! Oh the feeling of success, appreciation...it's just AWESOME!! Plus, this is a STYLISH Blogger Award, which makes it even better. Clearly, someone's been following me around and digs my faux fur cheetah shrug... *looks around*




Now that the SUPREME EXCITEMENT has somewhat settled, there's a list of things I need to do.  

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award 
2. Share 7 things about yourself 
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award

All right-y, here we go (I'll do them in a countdown format to jazz it up a little...although there really isn't an order...whatever, just go with it)

7. I had 3 glowworms when I was younger (with the batteries removed because my parents were worried I'd knock myself unconscious as my favourite thing was to twirl them around by their hats). They went everywhere with me. The joke was that they'd be in bed with me when I was married. After the years I'm now down to ONE and yes, Glowly makes an appearance from time to time.

6. I fundamentally believe that BACON makes everything better and mushrooms are THE WORST.

5. I do THE most amazing chipmunk impression. His name is Cheezers.

4. One of my dream jobs would be to work at OPI and come up with names for new polishes.

3. On a family vacation in Italy, we went to a restaurant called Maison de Filippo where we were served a 40 COURSE MEAL. No, that's not a typo. It took hours and it was amazing.

2. My first driver's license had my "sex" listed as "MALE". When I went to get it fixed, the DMV lady told me that mistakes like that never happen and I must have checked the wrong box. Obviously. 

1. When I was 11, I was PHYSICALLY REMOVED from my front-row balcony seat at The Phantom of The Opera. My mother had bought me the CD's months before opening week so I'd know what was going on. I totally loved it and halfway through the first act, stood up and started singing along AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. By the time my mother realized what was happening (I was next to my Grandma and cousin), security was carting me away. I was allowed back in for the second half, after I promised that I would be quiet. 

Now it's MY TURN to give the award to others. I'm currently addicted to these guys 'n gals (although there aren't 15). Some are funny, some are heartwarming, some are both. So start clicking, people!!












And if you haven't checked out A Steady Stream Of Chatter, get over there already! 


THANK YOU THANK YOU Andrea! It's totally MADE MY DAY!! 



8.1.11

Oh Holey Hell

*ATTENTION: This is a political post in reaction to religious discrimination by a Catholic school board...you've been warned*

I was very disappointed today to read an article that Perez Hilton had on his site. The title of his post read, Dear Canada: This is not cool. Being Canadian and all, I clicked the link and was wisked away to an online article about high school policies regarding student groups in Halton, an area of Ontario.

Within the first few sentences, my lip started to curl. By the time I reached the end, I was furious.

Apparently the Catholic District School Board has decided that they're going to IGNORE school board education policies that "provides safe and positive environments for students of all races, religions and sexual orientations." 

Yeah. Cause that seems like a great idea.

In essence, the Halton Catholic District School Board has banned all gay-straight alliance (GSA) groups.

Why? Well when asked, board chair Alice Anne LeMay responded with: "We don't have Nazi groups either."

(This is when I started to get hot).

The article continues to say that the Board would allow students to create groups, as long as the name of the group doesn't have "gay" in it because the Catholic Church's standards.

Michael Pautler, the education director for the Board, explains that: "Dialogue groups can achieve the same kinds of objectives, but that have a broader focus on inclusion generally, or a celebration of diversity, as opposed to focusing on any one particular expression of diversity."

So, if I've got it straight, I can put together a GSA group as long as I don't use the word "gay" anywhere? Okay, so now we're just playing with semantics. 

This utter bullshit makes me want to scream. Even if you somewhat agree with the Board's homophobic stance and their reference that gay youth are somehow in the same category as Nazis, THESE SCHOOLS RECEIVE PUBLIC MONEY!!!

You heard me, the Halton Catholic District School Board is funded by TAXES!!!

So this is GOVERNMENT-sponsored bigotry?

Students should feel safe in their schools and it may come as a surprise to the Halton Catholic School Board but like it or not, YOU HAVE GAY STUDENTS!

Aren't Catholic's supposed to be loving, inclusive and leave the judgement to The Big Guy upstairs? Isn't that a basic principle? 

Hey Pautler & LeMay, did you spend your Christmas holidays hanging out with Fred Phelphs, talking over turkey and setting up another funeral picket? You might as well have. 

I cannot imagine being a gay youth, going back to classes after break and being told by my school's administration that I wasn't, in fact, equal with my fellow students. I am a non-practicing Catholic (for several reasons) and I'm just gonna throw this newest clusterfuck to the growing pile of why I choose to stay away. Although I don't go to church, I am certain that GOD LOVES EVERYONE and He'd be PISSED OFF with how this is all turning out. 

I wish I'd read about this fundamental denial of rights before my birthday because I would have blown out my candles wishing that this kind of shit would stop. It makes me sad, mad and ultimately leaves me feeling hopeless. Fingers crossed that by the time these discriminated-against youth grow up, they take over the positions that are currently occupied by people who choose exclusion instead of inclusion.

Remember the time that women didn't have equal rights? When Chinese workers, who built our railroads were also denied? How about when divorce was a big deal?

As society progresses, we move forward and perspectives start to shift. Things change and we have to adapt. If you want to stay in the dark ages, huddled in a corner by yourself, that's FINE, but nobody has the right to tell a CHILD that they aren't as good as another, just because they're gay. Especially school officials. 

All right, I could write about this forever but I'm going to stop now. It's Saturday and we have to get to The Depot to get some more drywall mud for the bathroom..and maybe a McGriddle cause we got a coupon in the mail. Yes, maple chips in a pancake with egg in the middle will make this (superficially) better. 


7.1.11

Dear Gurgle Pot:

I love you.

No, seriously. I LOVE YOU.

You are the greatest thing ever invented.

When I first saw you, clustered in a window display of a home furnishings store in the sketchiest part of Barrie, I knew you were special. The sunlight reflected off of your bright white sheen, almost blinding me. How could I not go inside and check you out?

Three minutes later, you officially became a part of my life. Pouring milk into my morning tea has never been cute-r or fun-ner. 

There are some out there who don't know how friggin' amazing you are, so let's get you all introduced.

Le Pot. (link)
This is what a Gurgle Pot looks like. They're originally from France but now there's a North American distributor. My lovely Pot is white, like the one above but they come in a rainbow of colour options. 

What makes this Pot WAY better than just an "ordinary fish jug" though...is the gurgling.



See what I'm talking about? 

AMAZING!

Every time I pour a little milk out, you makes the best sounds and the giggling-gurgles never fail to put a smile on my face. 

You've now become my standard wedding present for those who I love most (if you haven't gotten one, I guess you didn't make the cut...haha!! I kid, I kid). There were EXTREME logistical issues in ordering one for my gal pal who thew the Best Wedding Ever in the summer, but she FINALLY received hers yesterday. 

YAY!!

So thank you, wondrous Gurgle Pot, for making my mornings WAY BETTER!!

If you want to check them out, here's the website: www.gurglepot.com 

6.1.11

Honey, You Wanna Paint The Bathroom?

It's been a year and eight months since we put our house in Ontario up for sale and decided to move East. We made the gutsy decision to just "do it" and packed up before the house had sold. The downside to gutsy decisions is that sometimes...they suck.

FINALLY, it closed yesterday and is no longer our responsibility.

We are single home-owners and it feels GREAT!

So what do we do to celebrate? We decided that we'd finally paint our upstairs bathroom!! *gleeful circular dance*

When we bought this house, every wall was beige. 

Every. Single. Wall. 

I felt like I was drowning in a cup of oatmeal...the kind that doesn't have extra sugar and therefore tastes like cardboard. It was bland-y, bland bland. We had enough cash to paint three rooms, one of them being the upstairs bathroom. In our get-the-builders-beige-outta-here haste, we picked a colour that has kind of turned into a nightmare. When we took some decorative things from the walls to put in our bedroom, even more of the walls were visible which is when we officially started hating it. As soon as we knew the house was sold, we were at The Depot getting paint chips.

We picked a colour that's called "Cumulus Cloud" by Martha. It's a wonderful light-green-ish-grey but looks white until you put it next to actual white. It's PERFECT! It'll FOR SURE make our morning rituals more zen and spa-like. So we picked up a gallon and squealed with delight all the way home (well, maybe not The Hubby). 

As we were standing in the bathroom doorway, eyeballing how many holes we'd have to patch in the walls before painting over the mint-green misstep, we had the following conversation. 

To make this story easier to follow, this is what we were looking at.

There's also a bathtub behind the door.


The Hubby: Why didn't they put the beautiful wainscotting grooved pine pieces up to the same height as the countertop?

Me: I don't know but it does look kinda silly.

The Hubby: I hate it.

Me: I hate it too.

The Hubby: We should just take it off then, patch the walls where we need to and then paint the whole thing!

Me: That's the best idea EVER!

Well, that convo ended up going on for a while...

as we were indulging in a little wine with supper...

and this is what happened afterwards.


Funny that you can see the Advil bottle on the right...busting out tile is LOUD!

Our teeny-tiny reno project has now morphed into:

  • Insulating all of the walls that don't have any
  • Sealing off the cold air returns that were just randomly hanging out behind the toilet
  • Re-drywalling the bottom sections we destroyed
  • Re-tiling around the tub
  • Getting a new faucet because "if we're re-tiling then we might as well get a faucet that has a spray attachment so we can stop washing the boys in the kitchen sink"
  • Oh, and painting of course
The plumber's here right now installing our super-pretty-looks-like-it's-vintage-but-it's-not faucet. We're hoping to have the walls prepped to tile by the weekend. This is the biggest home reno project we've ever done and I'm VERY EXCITED to see how it turns out. Thank goodness The Hubby's handy (he's an electrician and working in construction has some residual perks...minus working with water...a lesson we learned a while ago...haha).

I'll keep you posted on our progress!




5.1.11

I (Almost) Like This Concept

Flicking through the channels, trying to find something to watch the other day, I stumbled across a TV show titled "I (Almost) Got Away With It." Curious, I tuned in.

Is this really what we've come to?

It seems to be a Crimestoppers-esque show about criminals who almost got away with committing a crime. The first story was about two offenders who tried to escape from prison. They beat up a guard, stole the keys and ended up getting caught before they could get outside the high concrete bricked wall. 

The reenactments (almost) made me feel like I was really there. 

The actors were (almost) believable.

The story (almost) kept my interest. 

No wait...it DIDN'T!!

How is that supposed to be entertaining? The whole time I was watching I was thinking: "It doesn't even matter where you're running now, you're not going to make it." 

The best part of any plot involving criminal activity is the ESCAPE AT THE END! Hello?! Ever watched a movie on the edge of your seat thinking, "No wait -- not that way stupid, go the other way!! What are you doing?? The cops are outside!! Nooooooooo!" and then suddenly, there's a great car chase scene that ends with a GETAWAY.

If I KNOW that they'll just get caught at the end...where's the suspense? The drama?

Here's a tip: take out the "(almost)."

What is funny though, is the name. I thought of the following amazing "(Almost)" placements and how it would alter the show's concept.

16 and (Almost) Pregnant - essentially any Real World

(Almost) Undercover Boss - Employees suss out that the new guy is really their boss...and then start kissing a-double-ess at astounding speed

Dora The (Almost) Explorer - Dora just sits around her house, watching TV & napping

The (Almost) Amazing Race - No passports required; it's just a race around your neighbourhood...on a bike.

Dancing With The (Almost) Stars - oh wait...

All right, so this may become my favourite new game. "(Almost)'s" for everyone!!

4.1.11

Just Add Josh

Well.Shut.The.Front.Door!! 

There is a HILARIOUS video on YouTube featuring the seriously talented Josh Groban on Jimmy Kimmel. 

Although he's not in my regular listening rotation, I consider myself a sort-of-fan. His voice is undeniably gorgeous but I'm drawn to slightly more happy bippity-bobbity music. After watching this clip though, I feel like I may have to give him another chance. 

What makes this clip so funny?

He's singing Kanye West's tweets (and that guy says some strange stuff).

I laughed out loud while completely by myself, like a "guff-a-ing" kind of laughing. Had I not been alone, I would have shoulder-slapped someone for sure (my official "that's just TOO FUNNY" reaction). 

That's how awesome it is. 

In fact, I watched it a second time and still laughed. Despite my sounding like a lunatic who hysterically laughs to herself (and may or may not injure you if provoked), take three minutes and watch.



How can he be cute, talented AND funny? If Josh Groban was fictional, he'd for sure make my list. 

Is it just me, or does Kanye sound a little less crazy/strange when his tweets are sung? I believe that you can say almost anything to anyone, as long as your tone is appropriate. Perhaps I should add singing to my list of options for having difficult conversations.

OhemGee, could you imagine?

All right, I've imagined it and it's not so pretty. I'll just leave the singing stuff to Josh-y (he probably hates when people call him that, but it's not like he'll be reading this...so it stays!). 


What Would Stacy London Say?

One of the people I follow on Twitter has recently been referring to a strange thing she called "Pajama Jeans." I had no idea what she was talking about...until now.

Behold the wonder that is...

Oh. Dear. (link)
You have to ask yourself two questions:

"Do I like pajamas?"


"Do I like jeans?"


If you answered "yes," then you should order yourself up a pair.

Unless, of course, you care about what you look like. From the infomercial, which I found online, they look to be sweatpants that have lines silk-screened on so they look like jeans. 'm all for comfy pants and have many pairs of LuLu's that manage to walk the fine line between inside and outside appropriateness and suppose that the Pajama Jean is looking to crack that market...BUT...these are brutal and would most definitely find themselves at the bottom of the silver trash can on What Not To Wear...immediately.

Side Note: Isn't "Pajama" spelt wrong? I thought it was supposed to be "Pyjama." A-ha! My spellcheck agrees with me!

So what happened Pajama Jeans? Was the proper spelling already taken? Are there TWO versions out there?! It's too much for my big sexy brain to handle.

Okay, so now I kind of want to order a pair ONLY to see what they're like. No wait, someone else should order a pair and then let me see them.

Do it!!

Someone, DO IT!

ps If you've come here from Mingle Mondays (only slightly delayed seeing as it's Tuesday) -- thanks for stopping by! I loves new readers!

3.1.11

Whatta Guy

At the unGodly hour of 3:00 A.M. this morning, The Pickle started to bark.

The Hubby and I each stayed motionless and silent in bed, not wanting to be the one who moved first. After the second (and much louder) bark, The Hubby got up to let the boys out of their crate. Usually, you can set your watch to when they start getting restless -- somewhere between 6:00 and 6:30 in the morning (when The Hubby gets up for work). It doesn't get light out until around 8:00 A.M. here, so we're used to starting our day in the dark.

This morning though, something went amuck.

The Hubby collected The Pickle (he can't do the stairs since he broke his back a year and a half ago) and padded downstairs with Pepi at his feet to let them outside. The Hubby put the coffee on while waiting for them to finish and just happened to glance at the clock.

Apparently it wasn't 6:00 A.M...it was 3:30 A.M.!!

Pissed off and fully awake, The Hubby mulled over what to do next. Being wonderful and considerate, he opted not to come back to bed as he's the King of Tossing and Turning when he's too awake to fall back asleep. I'm sure he thought about zoning out watching TV or something, but instead he did the most remarkable things.

In the darkened twilight hours of this morning he: 

(a) washed an enormous stack of dishes 
(b) cleaned the kitchen
(c) did two loads of laundry 
(d) put the first skim coat on the drywall he installed yesterday

The sheen off of the kitchen counter almost blinded me when I turned on the lights. I absolutely loathe doing the dishes so it was a wonderful surprise to see them already drying in the rack. 

He'll be exhausted when he comes home from work today and I'll have a delicious (and nutritious) supper waiting for him so he'll know just how much I appreciate him and his hard work. Truth be told, if the situation was reversed I'm 60 - 95% sure that I wouldn't have been doing home improvements. 

Oh man, he's friggin' awesome. 

Monday's Fictional Hottie 10

Wohoo!! Ten weeks of Fictional Hotties and the first one of 2011. 

So who shall it be? Who will kick off 2011 in the best possible way?

The answer came to me on NYE, when my Hetero-Life-Partner said that she'd "never, ever, in a million years, NEVER do him." Her firm resolve came as a surprise to me because I find him seriously attractive. To be fair, she was really referring to the actor who plays the character but I think may be one of those he's-like-that-in-real-life kinda deals. 

This hottie first graced the silver screen as a supporting character. An off-the-wall singer who's first scene has him describing how he's lost a shoe that's the opposite to the one he's holding (but not evil or anything).  He prefers to wear dress shirts with as few buttons done up as possible and has an affinity for leather pants, despite vacationing in Hawaii. Long hair manages to make him hotter and his insightfully witty comments leave me gasping for air through choking laughter.

Congratulations Alouds Snow, you're #10! (in no particular order).

Who could forget you, Mr. Snow? (link)

So full of confidence, he says what he thinks with no filter at all. Sure, that sometimes means he doesn't make a lot of sense and is hard to follow, but at the end of the day, at least whatever he's rambling on about is entertaining to listen to. He's wacky, has no shame and sings. What more would you want? 

Clearly, there are others out there who agree with me because he made a sequel appearance in "Get Him To The Greek," where he was just as hot and hilarious. 

I mean COME ON! He's not wearing a shirt IN AN AIRPORT and yet is still (somehow) very attractive. (link)
Quotes like this sealed the deal with me: "What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect." 


Seriously, how can you NOT picture what he'd be like in bed? Talk about creative!! He's one bad decision away from becoming a train-wreck but his heart is in the right place. He's a nice guy wrapped up in a funny (slightly drug dependant but still pretty awesome) package. 


If the real Russell Brand is anything at all like Aldous Snow, that Katy Perry is a lucky gal.


"When the world slips you a Jeffrey, just stroke a fuzzy wall" - Aldous Snow


2.1.11

Two Other Guys Could Have Done It Better

I learned a lesson last night. It wasn't quite a "lightbulb" moment but something that I've been in denial about for a while. No matter how many times this has happened to me, I somehow convince myself that "next time, it'll be different." Shockingly, it never is.

Only halfway out of our Christmas-coma, The Hubby and I decided to rent a movie and watch it in bed. We wandered around the small DVD room at our local gas-station-extrodinaire and saw a few new releases. I picked up a flick called "The Other Guys" which starred Will Ferrell and Mark Whalburg. The back revealed that the two worked together as cops. 

(link)

My thought process went a little bit like this:

Oooo! Will Ferrell - he's funny!

Oooo! Mark Whalburg - he's cute!

Funny + cute = excellent Saturday selection. 

WRONG!!

Somewhere in my incredibly mathematical equation, something went awry. The first half hour was almost funny but all hope of humour left our TV set quickly after. The "jokes" may have been written by a fifth-grade improv group (without proper supervision) and all that Mr. Whalburg seemed to do was knit his pretty face and scream (thusly destroying his cute-ness). 

Needless to say, we made it halfway through and then turned it off to watch a rerun of The Office (the one when Michael thought he had herpes...classic). 

So what's the lesson?

I learned that if a movie didn't spend a lot of time in the box offices then it probably sucks. Furthermore, if a new release movie only has three copies available, then it probably really sucks. Finally, if it's the Saturday night after NYE, when everyone is still recovering and all three copies of a new release movie are still available...it's probably the worst movie ever.

Lesson learned.