20.6.12

The Time I Used Expired Milk/When Ignorance is a Good Thing






The expression, “Ignorance is Bliss,” has always bothered. When people justify bad behaviour with, "Oh, he's just ignorant," I get a twitch in my neck. Being ignorant doesn't mean you get to crack racist jokes or use homophobic slurs. Information is power so GET INFORMED, PEOPLE! If someone ever referred to me as an "ignorant person," I'd be hugely insulted because ignorance is something that can be fixed with even the slightest amount of effort. Stupidity, on the other hand, is unfixable (stay tuned for what I think about stupid people in a later post). 


Now, what’s the point of that rant? The point, dear readers, is that I’ve recently had a change of heart. Okay, maybe not a change of heart, but my hard-ass stance on the topic has softened. Why? Because I've learned that there are things I'd rather just not know.


A few days ago, I was eating bowl of cereal. As some of you may remember, we live about one box away from needing an intervention.


Anyway, I opted for a Honey Crunch O’s and Honey Crunch Flakes combo. It was almost too sweet but totally delicious. So delicious, in fact, that I bragged about it to The Remix. A short time later, he got up to fix himself a bowl and noticed that we were out of milk. Mostly because our Gurgle Pot was sitting in the sink. Whoops.


Seriously, it's the best pitcher of all time. I mean, it actually gurgles!!


Being awesome, he washed it out and went to the fridge to get another bag of milk, which is when he called out,


“Hey babe, is this the only milk we have?”


“Yeah,” I said.


“Okay,” he replied.


“Why?”


“No reason.”


My heart skipped a beat. “Then why did you ask?”


“I was just curious. No big deal.”


The lump in my throat was suffocating and my mouth filled with an unpleasant taste of pasty grossness. “Just tell me.”


“Tell you what? There’s nothing to tell.”


“JUST TELL ME!”


“It expired two days ago.”


*rushes to the bathroom*


Now, I didn’t actually throw up but sure felt like I was going to. I had to brush my teeth twice to get rid of the taste from the back of my throat. It didn’t matter that I’d thoroughly enjoyed the cereal pre-expiration-knowledge, my mouth tasted like I’d just finished drinking forty-three liters of chunky milk bits.


Moral of the story: sometimes ignorance can a good thing.


Still not convinced?


Then how about this little diddy:


You’re hungry but not terribly motivated so you decide to make a few hot dogs on the BBQ. You’ve had some friends over and the BBQ’s been going all day. As such, the BBQ utensils are resting on the side. Ten minutes later, you’re eating a yummy pair of hot dogs. Now, what if the BBQ utensil hadn’t been as clean as it appeared? What if, for instance, it'd been licked clean by an adorable red squirrel, which was witnessed by one of the friends staying with you and captured on film? Would you really want to know that you ate squirrel saliva?


WOULD YOU??





I rest my case.






1 comment:

Katie said...

We drink expired milk all the time. In my book, if it doesn't smell or taste funny, it's still good. I think it's really more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule. You're good.
I totally agree in THIS type of ignorance is bliss, but not the other kind. Claiming ignorance to do stupid or hateful things is not cool. Being happier because you don't know something is cool though.
Like, I would have been much happier not knowing that my father threw a hissy fit tantrum right before my wedding ceremony, but my mom and hairdresser just couldn't keep it to themselves. In cases like that, ignorance totally is bliss.