One of the awesome things about being on vacation (because being on vacation isn't awesome enough) is having the time to read. For our trip to Toronto last week, we had two flights there and two flights back and that, my friends, was enough time for me to read two books! AND start a third! YAY!
So, without further ado, I humbly present this for my weekly review:
Lots of people have read it but when a good friend of mine (who has a very similar sense of humour) INSISTED that I read it IMMEDIATELY because she NEEDED to talk to me about it, I put it at the top of my vacation to-read-list.
And let me tell you, book clubbers, I owe that friend a box of cookies because this book IS THE GREATEST MEMOIR OF ALL TIME.
No, I'm not exaggerating.
Let's get something straight, right off the bat: Jenny Lawson may be the funniest person on the planet. In fact, she's so funny that there should really be a disclaimer on the cover.
may will probably cause you to pee your pants. Do not read in public unless wearing Depends.
But that's what happens when an author grows up with a taxidermist father in a place called Wall, Texas.
Don't believe me that her "mostly true memoir" is really *that* funny? Well, when I first started reading it, I was in bed with The Remix and after only half an hour, I had to stop.
Because I was laughing so hard that the bed was shaking and The Remix thought that we'd somehow been transported to a seedy motel and I'd smuggled in a handful of quarters for the vibrating machine. Not that I could blame him because, as hard as I tried, I just couldn't contain myself. It was like my body HAD to release a knee-slapping, tear-bursting laugh or I would EXPLODE.
And to answer your next question, no, laughing into a pillowcase didn't help.
Plus, all of her stories are (mostly) true! Rather than butcher her explanation on why she chose to include the "mostly," part, I'll let Ms. Lawson explain it, herself:
This book is totally true, except for the parts that aren't. It's basically like Little House on the Prairie but with more cursing. And I know, you're thinking, "But Little House on the Prairie was totally true!" and no, I'm sorry, but it wasn't. Laura Ingalls was a compulsive liar with no fact-checker, and probably if she was still alive today her mom would be saying, "I don't know how Laura came up with this whole 'I'm-a-small-girl-on-the-prairie' story. We lived in New Jersey with her aunt Frieda and our dog, Mary, who was blinded when Laura tried to bleach a lightning bold on her forehead. I have no idea where she got the 'and we lived in a dugout' thing, although we did take her to Carlsbad Caverns once."
And that's why I'm better than Laura Ingalls. Because my story is ninety percent accurate, and I really did live in a dugout.** The reason this memoir is only mostly true instead of totally true is that I relish not getting sued. Also, I want my family to be able to say, "Oh that never happened. Of course we never actually tossed her out of a moving car when she was eight. That's one of those crazy things that isn't quite the truth." (And they're right, because the truth is that I was nine...)
** I actually never lived in a dugout. But I did totally go to Carlsbad Caverns once.
Yup - the ENTIRE book is JUST LIKE that!! I SWEAR!!
Also, if you didn't laugh at least once during that excerpt, I'm not sure that we can we friends. We'd probably hate each other. It's best to just nod our heads politely and part ways. Like, right now.
I can't tell you my favourite part because that would pretty much involve quoting the entire 318 pages and that would be ridiculous (and a copyright infringement, probably) but with chapter titles like: And That's Why Neil Patrick Harris Would Be the Most Successful Mass Murderer Ever, Just to Clarify: We Don't Sleep with Goats and Jenkins, You Motherfucker, I'm sure you can see why it's impossible for me to choose just one.
Plus, she loves the word "fuck," a lot. She's a gal after my own heart, that Jenny Lawson.
Look, there's a reason that this book has been on the NYT Bestsellers List for a thousand years. And that reason is because it is awesomely-awesome!
So get this book and read it right now.
But please remember what I said about the mandatory physical expression of laughter - if you hold it in, or try to control yourself, you'll probably pop a lung or something.
Just let it out, people! Let the laughter out!
And then send me an email so we can chat about Chapter 3: Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel.