6.2.13

The Time Denny's Broke My Heart (and then filled it with rage)


Here's the deal: I love Denny's.


When The Remix and I lived in Ontario, we'd drive (sometimes for over an hour) in order to have breakfast there...well, he'd have breakfast and I'd have lunch. You see, Denny's has 24-hour breakfast, which is perfect for us as The Remix LOVES breakfast while my favourite meal of the day is lunch. So he gets his Grand Slam and I get the Chicken Ranch Melt, and a few forkfuls of his pancakes (ermegerd, the pancakes are incredible). 


Alas, there is no Denny's in New Brunswick. However, because of my Human Guinea Pig status, I've been flying back to Toronto on a monthly basis since December and my awesome mother and her hubby are kind enough to suspend their sophisticated palettes long enough to take me there.


During January's trip, I was devastated sad to see that my beloved Chicken Ranch Melt sandwich had been removed from the menu. However, there was a Buffalo Chicken sandwich that could be modified into the Ranch Melt, so a total crazy-face-freak-out crisis was averted as it tasted the same.


But the crisis aversions are over now because, as of Monday, February 4th, much to my UTTER DISBELIEF, the Buffalo Chicken sandwich is no longer on the menu either!!




Why is it that my favourite menu item, one that I've been ordering for years, has been unceremoniously removed without a comparable replacement? The obvious reason is that nobody was ordering it but what am I supposed to eat now?


I scoured the traitorous new menu and settled on a cheeseburger, but aside from the soft cheese bun, there wasn't anything special about it. Especially when I compare it to the garlic toasted ciabatta bread, melted swiss cheese, and fried chicken breast with lettuce and tomato.


Naturally, on the plane ride home, I drafted an email to Denny's and debated on the merits of starting a petition in protest of their decision to remove The Best Sandwich Ever. When I got home, I went online to find an email address and, lo and behold, according to Denny's American menu, the Chicken Ranch Melt still exists!




Why are you doing this to me, Denny's, Canada?


WHY?!


The unfairness is suffocating. 


The only good thing about this soul-crushing debacle is that The Remix and I are heading to Bangor in two weeks, so hopefully, I'll be able to get my greedy little paws on one there. In the meantime, though, I'll TOTALLY be sending Denny's Canada an email outlining my perfectly reasonable outrage. I mean, if you're going to take it off the menu then TAKE IT OFF THE MENU EVERYWHERE! Otherwise, it's, like, totally unfair. And mean. Why should Americans get to enjoy the melt-y goodness while Canadians are left with only the delicious memory to sustain them?


Poor form, Denny's, Canada.


Poor.Form.