Decorating a la Duck Dynasty

Yesterday, I was writing away at my laptop when I got a series of emails from The Remix with suggestions on how we should decorate our new home. Usually, I'm all for having his input but I was surprised that he was able to find any inspiration for home décor, considering that he was out shopping for fishing supplies at a Bass Pro Shop with his dad.

Who knew that Bass Pro Shops sold home furnishings? I certainly didn't.

Some of the pictures he sent me were so hilarious that I just had to share them with you (because that's what bloggers do. Err..thanks, babe? Haha!)

His first suggestion was that we replace our modern, chocolate brown, sectional couch with this:

Pro: If you put it outside, photos will make people look like they're hovering in the air, which is pretty awesome.

Con: It's fucking hideous if not directly in front of foliage.

Verdict: No dice.

Then, there was this: 

Pro: It's so ridiculous that a significant part of me needs to have it.

Con: His beady little eyes feel like they're staring into my soul, which isn't exactly what I look for in a toilet paper holder. 

Verdict: Close, but no dice. 

Are these the types of suggestions that the Duck Dynasty gals constantly deal with? And what company is making this stuff? How do I get involved? I could totally chic the shit out of these things so they work for both a country and a modern design scheme. For instance, what if the duck was made of stainless steel? Or covered in Swarovski crystals? Or simultaneously played a recording reminding kids to wash their hands while also letting off a perfect amount of air freshener that doesn't feel like you're being smothered by a pillow filled with roses? See...I'm FULL of genius ideas.

So, call me, nature-centric home furnishing companies! I swear there's more where that came from. We'll make a killing! And speaking of killing, has there been any previous discussion about adding rhinestones to the taxidermy game? How about googley-eyes?

Haha!

The Nail Files: Practice Makes Perfect (dammit)

Wohoo! It's time for The Nail Files!

*moonwalks*

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**Link up with us to show off your cute manis (either done by yourself or in a salon), nail polish purchases and/or recommendations, nail polish tips--whatever nail-related thing you'd like! And please use the button or link back to this blog. Thanks!**

***

If you've made the rounds at The Nail Files before, you know about Bailey and her freakishly amazing ability to get symmetrical dots (not that I'm jealous...okay, I'm totally jealous). I asked her what her secret was (it was practicing, which wasn't quite as magical an answer as I was expecting, haha) and after spending some time dotting a piece of paper, I decided that I was ready to give it a go. And you know what?

IT TOTALLY WORKED!

Here's what I used:

And here's what I did!

Not only was I able to do symmetrical dots, but I did TWO DIFFERENT SIZES of symmetrical dots and all because I took my sweet time and did a whole bunch of practice dots right before.

 So although it takes way longer, practicing really did make them perfect (damn there being no easy way, am I right? Haha!).

Link up and show off your pretty colour choices for the week! I need some fall inspiration!

Book Club Friday: The Lying Game Series, Book 1

About a month ago, one of our delightful hosts (Heather) posted a review about the Sara Shepard series: The Lying Game. Since I was a mega-fan of the Pretty Little Liars series, and because Heather read them all in less time than it would take an average person to paint a dining room, I downloaded the first one right away.

 

And you know what? The Lying Game, Book 1, is just as freaking fabulous as I expected it to be. In other words: Sarah Shepard is the bomb.

It’s simply amazing to me how Ms. Shepard manages to create the MOST unlikable characters, while still giving them just enough humanity that I find myself unknowingly rooting for them. Seriously, guys, I had no idea how she’s able to do it so well—it’s like ninja-style character development at its finest. 

I will say, though, that the MC, Emma, is the exception to that rule because she’s pretty darn awesome. She’s kind, thoughtful, strong, and knows who she is, which is a good thing because she spends the entire book posing as her didn’t-know-she-even-existed twin sister, Sutton (who was apparently quite the bey-otch), so she can figure out who murdered her. And, just like PPL, all of this takes place in high school. Well not "in" high school, per say, but all of the characters are students.

I will caution you that the writing can be confusing, at times, because the POV changes with no warning (from Emma to Sutton--or, more specifically, Emma and Sutton's ghost), but I didn’t mind that it stopped me in my tracks because I was so interested in what would happen next. Again, this is a serious accomplishment, although I do wish that the transitions had been smoother because it would have been awesome to just be able to get lost in the story.

The plot arc seems like it will hold more weight than in PPL because of Sutton's ghost's POV, though, so I'm hoping for tons of cool twists. The whole plot composition seems slightly more sophisticated as well and I can't WAIT to see where the mystery will take me.

I had another beef with the book but I can’t talk about it without being spoiler-y, and I’m hoping that it’s something that will be remedied in further books, which I will FOR SURE be reading because Book 1 was a non-stop ride on the you’re-kidding-me train and I want to go all the way to the station. Woot woot, people! Haha!!

So, thanks to Heather for introducing me to a wicked new series!

And thanks to Heather and Katie for hosting!

The Great Panty Caper: The Cutest Panty Thief Photo Contest

So, you've already seen the awesome cover for Tawna Fenske's latest release, The Great Panty Caper, and you know about the ebook and Amazon gift card giveaway, but that's not all, folks! For the next 11-ish days, you have a chance to win a copy of The Great Panty Caper AND a gift certificate for Victoria's Secret, and all you have to do is get a bit creative.

Here's the deal:

THE CUTEST PANTY THIEF PHOTO CONTEST

inspired by THE GREAT PANTY CAPER by Tawna Fenske

Who’s the Cutest Panty Thief in your life?  

Post a picture on any of these platforms :

TWITTER, FACEBOOK, PINTEREST

with #pantycaper

ONE LUCKY WINNER EVERY DAY WILL RECEIVE A FREE PRE-RELEASE COPY OF THE GREAT PANTY CAPER by TAWNA FENSKE

ALL WINNERS WILL BE ENTERED INTO A DRAWING FOR A $50 VICTORIA’S SECRET GIFT CARD

CONTEST RUNS 9/23-10/4

WINNERS ANNOUNCED 10/7

BOOK LAUNCHES 10/8

http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/

Questions? Think we missed your submission? Email pantycapers@coliloquy.com

* * *

And wouldn't you know that just this morning, I discovered an adorable panty thief of my own!

Not only did Pickle steal my panties, but he hoarded them in his vacation home. What a little sneak! Haha!

The Great Panty Caper: Cover Reveal!

If you follow me on Twitter (which you totally should) then you know I'm part of The Great Panty Caper Street Team, which is composed of a group of bloggers/social media junkies who love reading Tawna Fenske's novels. Of the ones she's released so far, Making Waves is my favourite and you can read my review here.

Anyway, now there's a new release called The Great Panty Caper and, yes, it's about stolen panties (only Tawna would come up with a plot like that, haha). Here's the Goodreads description (as I only received the ARC yesterday and haven't read it yet):

JJ Shultz is torn between two hot men. So what’s a girl to do? Prolong the decision and escape to Seattle, of course! Especially when sister Lori invites her to a fashion trade show.

But their plans for a weekend of cocktails and sisterly bonding go south when Lori’s panties disappear from their hotel room. It’s not just any pair of unmentionables - it’s Lori’s only prototype for a new product she’s almost ready to reveal.

Determined to find Lori’s treasured trunks, the sisters set out to track down the thief, with the help of some friends at home, a few quirky new acquaintances, and a cat who can’t stop himself from shedding all over the evidence. 

What’s Cool from Coliloquy

In The Great Panty Caper, Lori’s considering a weekend fling and you get to decide just how far she goes with tall, dark, and handsome. Dinner and flirting, or more? It’s up to you! In the meantime, JJ needs a little help figuring out which of her boyfriends to call for some sleuthing tips. Can she resist the urge to phone her hot English man? Or will the all-American hunk fulfill her needs?

Eeee! It sounds like such a fun read!! I can't WAIT to start!

And here's the adorable cover!!

Can we talk about the leopard thong for a moment? Love. Haha!

And the coolest part of the cover reveal is that you have a chance to win a copy of The Great Panty Caper AND Getting Dumped 1 & 2 PLUS an Amazon gift card! YAY! FREE AWESOME BOOKS AND GIFT CARDS TO BUY EVEN MORE AWESOME BOOKS!!

So, err...what are you waiting for? 

*points*

a Rafflecopter giveaway

There will be a few more surprises in the coming weeks, so prepare yourselves for the the full-coverage panty promotions (even if you're a g-string kinda gal). Haha!!

We Really Had No Other Choice

About a month ago, something HORRIFIC happened. The kind of horror that makes you want to peel off your own skin and flail your fleshless limbs across the front lawn while screaming at the top of your lungs. Ugh. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies...

*shudders*

The Remix and I were getting ready for a weekend morning hot tub, loving life because we have a hot tub in the first place, when he casually grabbed his robe from the hook on the back of the bathroom door (side note: his robe is directly next to both my robe and my towel). And then, just as he was about to put it on like he'd done a thousand times before, THE BIGGEST SPIDER I HAVE EVER SEEN FELL OUT OF THE SLEEVE.

It scurried from sight before I could find a brick to smash it with, but in the confusion (read: my hysterical screaming and pointing) it disappeared! We looked under the vanity, along all the baseboards, even in the shower but it was nowhere to be found. 

So, naturally, there was only one thing we could do:

That's right. We're selling our house.

I know this seems like it's coming out of nowhere, and that I may be joking, but rest assured that we are, in fact, moving. And not just down the road. Oh no, that'd be far too easy. Haha! The big news, ladies and gents, is that Team Happypants is moving back to Toronto.

I'll just file my nails for a sec to give you a moment to let that sink in...



Are you good? Awesome. Let's keep going. Haha!

Truth be told, the dinosauric arachnid isn't the only reason we're moving, but the fact that a giant spider is lurking somewhere in the house totally contributed to the decision (not really). We LOVE living in New Brunswick but the work situation is awful (as in, there's hardly any work at all) and after a few phone calls, The Remix was able to get his old job back. So, for the second time, we're doing a cross-provincial move (quick geography lesson: Toronto is a 14-hour drive from Fredericton). Because we've done it before, it's not nearly as scary but the WORST part of this story is that The Remix left on Thursday so he can start work on Monday, which means that I'll pretty much be in solitary confinement until I'm able to move as well.

This unexpected Atom Bomb of Crazy is the reason why I've been a big of a blogging enigma lately because I've been running around in circles losing my shit getting the house ready to sell. We're in for a few months of "what the hell is going on"-ness, but it's nothing that we can't handle. With everything we've been through in the last seven years, we know how to get through stressful situations but I will admit that I'm a tad nervous about spending so much time apart. Hopefully, The Remix will be able to visit every two weeks, but still, Imma miss him so much!! 

Booo!! 

However, it's all for the best (in the long run) so please forgive my continued blogger-flakiness for the next couple of months. That said, I will ALWAYS have a weekly post for The Nail Files but aside from that, I make no promises. Haha!!

The Nail Files: Grey 'n Gold

Wohoo! It's time for The Nail Files!

*pounds the alarm*

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**Link up with us to show off your cute manis (either done by yourself or in a salon), nail polish purchases and/or recommendations, nail polish tips--whatever nail-related thing you'd like! And please use the button or link back to this blog. Thanks!**

***

This week, I was all about fast and efficient nails because my life had an atom bomb of crazy dropped on it and I've barely had time to brush my teeth, let alone do a manicure. That said, when I found a super sweet deal on a new Nicole by OPI polish: A Gold Winter's Night--only $4--I decided it was The Universe's way of telling me that I should carve out a few minutes to try it out. Haha!

The gold strips, pinky-purple micro glitter and occasional teal strip in A Gold Winter's Night make for a totally multidimensional finish AND I FREAKING LOVE IT!

I did two coats of Immortal (which also has pink and blue micro glitter even though it's kind of hard to see), followed by two coats of A Gold Winter's Night for my ring finger and then two coats of Felicity on my pointer finger. 

Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, this mani took about 20 minutes and after a coat of Seche Vite, I was on my sparkly and subtle-y coordinated way. Ha!

Happy weekend everyone! Can't wait to see what you've come up with this week!

The Nail Files: My Name is Jennie and I am Addicted to Chevrons

Wohoo! It's time for The Nail Files!

*clangs cymbals*

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**Link up with us to show off your cute manis (either done by yourself or in a salon), nail polish purchases and/or recommendations, nail polish tips--whatever nail-related thing you'd like! And please either use the new button or link back to this blog. Thanks!**

***

Guys, I've got a problem...

Last week, I shared my happiness in discovering non-cut chevron striping tape and now, I can't stop using them! Haha! They're just so pretty, and easy (that's what s/he said? haha!)

This time, though, I decided to crank it up a notch and try a gradient-esque design with some bright pastels (as I'm being dragged against my will into the fall, haha).

What I used (aka, basically half of the CG Sunsational Collection, haha):

The all-important chevron striping tape from Inspired Nails. 

And the mani:

As usual, I started with two coats of paper mache. Then, I applied the chevron stickers (4 per nail). With a narrow, flat blush, I did two quick coats of each of the colours (starting with the lightest at the bottom, and finishing with the darkest, at the top). By the time I had finished applying the last colour on my thumb, the strips on my ring finger were ready to remove, quickly followed by the ones on my thumb. Two coats of Seche Vite (one going across my nail and then, when dry, another from top to bottom) and voila! An almost-gradient-chevron mani!

I'd like to say that I'll have something different for you next week but I make no promises. Haha!

Happy weekend, everyone! 

(And watch yo-self today because it's Friday the 13th and sometimes people freak the eff out. Safety first!)

Women's Fiction Writers, Rejoice!!

Why?

Because today is the official launch of the Women's Fiction Writers Association!!

*fires glitter cannon*

This brand-spanking new association is for anyone who writes women's fiction and I'm too excited for life that the launch day has finally come! There are forums, workshops, contests, and even a retreat in 2014! YAY!

So what are you waiting for? Click here to go to the website and get started meeting other awesome women's fiction writers! And talk about books! And publishing! And promotion! AND ALL OF THE OTHER WRITERLY THINGS THAT PERTAIN TO WOMEN'S FICTION!

*squeals with delight*

Hope to see you there!

The Nail Files: Cheating Chevrons

Welcome to The Nail Files!

*sounds trumpets*

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**Link up with us to show off your cute manis (either done by yourself or in a salon), nail polish purchases and/or recommendations, nail polish tips--whatever nail-related thing you'd like! And please either use the new button or link back to this blog. Thanks!**

***

I love chevron manicures. I pin them all the time and watch tutorials but whenever I try to do the pattern by hand, it never turns out. Ever. The lines end up with all different thicknesses and the triangle peaks are never pointed, no matter how much wine I drink many times I try. I've looked on etsy for chevron striping tape as well but have only been able to find pre-cut ones and because my nail beds are so big, they're all too small!!

I'd basically given up on my chevron dreams when I stumbled upon Inspired Nails and, much to my surprise, they had non-cut chevron striping tape!

So, naturally, I bought a sheet and then waited by the mailboxes every day to the point that my delivery person was totally creeped out patiently for them to arrive. Finally, after what felt like three eternities (I think it was actually a week), they did!

And here's what I did with them!

EeeEEeeeeEEE!!! They're perfect!

To start, I did two coats of paper mache and let it dry completely. Then, I applied the striping tape, pressing firmly and into the side-corner of my nail (is there a real name for that? It can't be side-corner. Haha). Then, I did two quick coats of creative fantasy and turned up turquoise, counted 30 Mississippi's, and peeled them off. 

The verdict: I LOVE CHEVRON STRIPING TAPE! Yes, it may be considered cheating by some but unless those nail experts are willing to come to my house and give me a mani, the tape is the only way I'll be rocking chevrons. Haha! So if you're into the chevron look and aren't naturally talented at free-handing crisp edges, then I can't recommend them enough. This mani was SUPER easy and it's perfect! Yay for easy and fun designs! (And just for the record, Inspired Nails has no idea I wrote this post, nor did they supply me with anything, although if they were to in the future, I'd totally be into it *side-eyes Inspired Nails* Haha!).

What did you do this week? Link up and show them off!