post office spiral of rage

I love living in a small town; a place where people know your name and are generally friendly. However, there are some downsides, one of which is the local post office. On Monday, I went to go pick up a package. This is what happened.

Last week, I ordered a whole whack of new dresses for the summer and I'd been tracking their progress every five seconds consistently. So when I got the tag in my mailbox, I was beyond psyched to go pick them up. The way my day worked, I got to the post office a little later than usual, which made me fear there'd be a huge line, because it was around lunchtime. Judging from the one car parked outside, though, the place was empty. My heart soared. 

Dresses! I thought. I'm about to get all of my new, pretty dresses!!

Omg it’s 80 degrees out.
(Don't worry, my dresses aren't quite as revealing. Haha!)

But quickly, my optimistic enthusiasm was destroyed. Because inside the post office was a lineup of four people. That may not seem like a lot, but when there's only one postal worker, that's quite a line. However, this time, there were two workers! TWO! That's one hundred percent more postal workers, people! However, then I overheard some conversation between the two workers, and it turned out, one was being trained.  

Fridays at 4PM

Now, I hate to be a big ole beyotch about this, because at one point, I too was a trainee (and I remember it sucking pretty hard, not knowing what to do) but a trainee worker translates into a much longer wait. Even more so, when a customer orders not one, but two separate money orders--arguably the most tedious of postal office services.

As I waited for what felt like an eternity, but was only about three minutes, the heat began to consume me, as we're in that uncomfortable stage of it being warmer outside, and stores still blasting their heat. I could feel the back of my neck start to sweat, and my purse was steadily becoming heavier, despite adding nothing to it. So, I took off my coat and draped it on my arm, silently willing the trainee to learn faster. Shockingly, it didn't work. 

Finally, the customer who needed complicated money orders stepped to the side...only to be replaced by ANOTHER money order customer. 

This is when I started to lose it. I mean, the fact that I even had to go to the post office in the first place was irritating, and having to wait forever was like pouring artisan salts on a million paper cuts.

Because I'm in a rural-ish area, I get door-to-door postal service instead of using a mega-box (this isn't what they're actually called, haha), that sits at the end of the street. A component of the mega-box is your own personal box, and there are also a few larger ones for packages, that you kind of borrow when you need, thusly saving you a trip to town for when packages are too big for your mailbox. Although we don't have a mega-box, we live one street south of one, which means that I have to physically drive past a mega-box to get into town. OH HOW I LONG FOR A MEGA-BOX.

Anyway, that's what I thought about while waiting for another five minutes. And trust me, with no music and irritating "Oh, that's the button I was looking for," coming from the trainee, I was very close to the edge of my sanity. But I couldn't leave. Or, better said, I wouldn't leave. My dresses were back there somewhere and I wanted them. So, I swallowed my bubbling rage and continued to wait.

In the meantime, more customers had entered the post office, and many wore a similar expression to mine, which was something like this...

As if the slow service and Hades-like heat weren't enough, the woman behind me (who really needed to dye her roots...and maybe also brush her hair) did the unthinkable: she started playing a game on her phone. With the volume up. High. 

I did the whole "movie theatre side-eye" to which she responded with a small, unapologetic smile and the phrase, "I've been stuck on this level forever," before going back to playing whatever the hell game it was. On the outside, I was somehow able to keep calm, but on the inside, it was more like this...

Mercifully, one minute and countless game-related noises later, the money order was still going strong, but the trained worker noticed the line of pissed-off patrons and decided to start helping people. But, because this post is aptly named "postal office spiral of rage," you can probably guess that the customer in front of me had a time-sucking request. Specifically, he'd sent a package with the wrong postal code and it was being returned. Did he know it was there for sure? No. Did he have a tag? No. So did the worker have any idea where to look for it? You guessed it: No. 

So, the already-trained worker left to find his package, which may or may not have been there, therefore leaving the trainee to do battle with the money order. 

Surprisingly, the trained worker emerged from the back quite quickly. Turns out, it wasn't there. So finally, FINALLY, it was my turn. I handed over the tag, which I'd gotten from my previously-mentioned rural mailbox, and she went into the back.

With my dresses now so close to my grasp, I felt myself cooling down. Yes, the inconsiderate game-playing lady was still going strong but somehow, it wasn't nearly as annoying. And I didn't even care that the trainee was still with the same, second-money-order customer. Yes, it was finally all coming together. 

Until, that is, she returned from the back, only to tell me that despite me having the tag and waiting for what felt like the better part of my thirties, I'd have to come back the next day.


Because they hadn't unloaded the packages yet, on account of the trainee.

i could watch this episode on repeat forever

I really hate the post office.

Like, a lot.


  1. Ugh I hate the way our mail gets delivered as well, we have to go down to the grocery store to pick up packages because they always seem to want to deliver them when we are not home but you know I am home alllll the time!!

  2. I'm so relieved to hear that Canadian post offices bite donkeys just as hard as US ones! Did you get your dresses at last?

  3. Wow. That would have had me feeling 'postal'. Get it? Ah, I kill me.
    I hope you have your dresses now!


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