the time I was almost murdered (kind of)

I watch a lot of crime-based shows: Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds, Secrets and Lies, and because of that, I have an overactive imagination when it comes to certain situations. For instance, hitchhiking. I really don't understand hitchhiking. Even back in the day, when it was "safer," the fact remains that it's a dangerous activity. Both for the hitchhiker and the hitchhikee. I mean, it's basically a recipe for bad times, picking up a stranger on the side of the road.

So when two teenaged girls knocked on my door, at just after ten in the morning on Tuesday of last week, attempting to hitchhike, I was surprised. I live in the country, about a five minute drive from the nearest town (which is super small), so I don't see many people walking, let alone have them knocking on my door. Well, except for one determined Jehovah's Witness, but he's pretty chill about his Invitations to Salvation, so I let him slide. 

But back to the unsettling teenaged girls who randomly showed up at my house. When I opened the door, amidst the loud barking of our two tiny dogs, the girl closest to me said: "We missed the bus. Can you drive us to school?"

No introductions, no smiles, nothing. Simply: "We missed the bus. Can you drive us to school?"

These are not the two girls, but I find their likeness to be striking. Only instead of holding beers, they held sour expressions.

It seemed super sketchy, so I asked them where they lived, and they named my street (which is clearly posted on multiple signs), but they didn't give me a number or any kind of landmark. Then I asked them when school started, because it was after ten. They responded with a vague "Before nine," which would mean that they missed the bus at least one hour and ten minutes earlier. 

Now, obviously, this story didn't make sense, but despite that, my first instinct was to drive them. For some reason, I was more worried about their safety, as in, them asking the wrong person for a drive, so I called The Remix, to tell him what was going on. After I explained the situation, he responded with "Are you seriously going to give two random strangers a ride?," which he followed up with a long, silent pause. This was just the kind of response I needed, mostly because it made me realize I was acting insane. I would never pick up a hitchhiker, let alone two, so why was it different with them coming to my door? The answer was: it wasn't. In fact, it was even more random, because who goes door-to-door asking for rides from strangers?

Psycho killers, that's who.

So, with the decision made that I would NOT be driving them, I went back to my door. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to keep them outside.

Through the crack in the door, I told them that I wouldn't be driving them, and that's when they started to get angry-slash-whiney. They claimed it would take them "over an hour and a half" to walk to school, and they pointed out that it was raining. Now, I have no clue where the high school is, but at the very most, it'd take half an hour to walk to walk to town. And furthermore, considering that these two girls essentially fell out of the sky and onto my property, I decided to file the whole thing under: Not My Problem and I Prefer To Stay Alive.

Immediately after I shut and locked the door, I got back on the phone with The Remix, and watched them walk to the end of my driveway. Funnily enough, only one of them had a bag and they turned right, which was the opposite direction to town. So, um, yeah. They totally weren't trying to get to school.

Now, if they'd been smiling, embarrassed girls who introduced themselves with something like: "Hi. Sorry to just show up, but we live down at 75794--you know, the one with the windmill and the horse ring with yellow fencing? We were late getting to the bus stop, and missed the bus. We called our Mom, but she's already at work. You can call and talk to her yourself, if you want, because we were wondering if you'd mind driving us. We'd really appreciate it because we have a major test today." Then maybe I'd have given them some benefit of the doubt, but a cranky-whiny mix of vague information and a confrontational attitude does not a stranger ride, make. Also, they would have needed to be at my door at around nine, to confirm their story. In addition to that, the word "please" would gone a long way. I mean, that's basic politeness, isn't it? And furthermore, did they really have nobody they could call? Like, I don't know, someone who's not a stranger? It's not like every kid on the planet doesn't have a cell. 

Anyway, after they left, I started to feel guilty. What if they really were kids just trying to get to school, albeit a school in another town because they turned right instead of left? So, just to get a sense of the general consensus on the matter, I went to Twitter.

From the reaction I got, everyone was in agreement with my refusal, which made me feel less like a meanie-pants and more like a responsible woman. I think it's a little sad that we've learned to be hesitant on helping strangers, but at the end of the day, I'm happy to have avoided becoming this headline:


Because yeah, I'm pretty sure that I was almost murdered, last Tuesday. Kind of, anyway. 

Lesson Learned? 

Keep the gate at the end of the driveway closed. Also? When in doubt, call The Remix. He always knows what to do.


  1. Ok so you know I waiting for this post and that picture is totally what I imagined them looking like!

  2. You absolutely did the right thing. Even if it wasn't a murder spree but just making you an accomplice to kidnapping (if they were running away, and underage). "I missed the bus, will you drive me to school?" is something you say to your parent or legal guardian, not a random stranger. Good on you for keeping the crazies at arm's length. :)

  3. I laughed out loud at your headline hahah. Always appreciative of your stories Jennie!


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